When thinking about how many people get divorced, most Americans believe it is about half. In the United States, researchers estimated that 40%–50% of all first marriages, and 60% of second marriages, will end in divorce. While we are aware of this likely to happen to many relationships, Divorce is way too common, and the question is why? There are some factors that would increase the risk of divorce including age, education, and income. However, would you recognize the signs if you saw them? Here are some to look out for.
Lack of commitment was a big contributing factor for divorce. About half reported to researchers that they wished they or their ex-spouse had tried harder to work through their differences. Commitment is important to a marriage. If you or your spouse aren’t willing to try to work together to fix it then that means you are slowly waiting for the end. If you feel that your marriage is drifting apart and you don’t feel the need to do anything about it that should be a red flag. Maybe you are finding reasons to avoid your partner. Do you feel the need to hang out with friends or family more or maybe when you come home you sit in your car to avoid going inside.
Maybe you or your partner is attacking the person rather than the behavior. This could be attacking the personality or character of your or your partner. It is making someone clearly right and wrong. This including blaming and saying you or you’re. This is often belittling the person which makes them feel under attack and provokes defensive reactions. This goes back to communication because neither person feels that they are being heard and leaves a negative energy in the relationship.
Could it be that you or your partner is unreliable, critical, or hostile most of the time? What if you or your partner is unresponsive, lazy, incompetent, and you can’t see eye to eye? Don’t ignore these reactions. Being unhappy is a clear sign that this isn’t good or healthy anymore. If your instinct is telling you to get out. If your gut is telling you should go, listen to it. Talk to friends or family or with an expert.
At Simonetti and Associates, our goal is to educate and inform you, so you can make the best decisions for your family. Contact us by phone at (877) 385-2560 or contact us online for a free initial consultation.