When beginning the divorce process, parents are faced with many tough questions; one of the most difficult being, “How will I tell my children?”. There is no perfect way to present this news, but by keeping the conversation civil, simple, and honest, you can alleviate some of their pain and stress. If you are in the middle of the divorce process and are looking for some guidance on how to approach the topic, there is a divorce lawyer in Massapequa that can help!
Maintaining a relationship with your ex:
Although it may be difficult, try to keep your relationship with the other parent as peaceful as possible. Children often feel hurt and at times even guilty when they hear a parent they love putting down another. They should not feel like they have to pick one side over the other or that they are disappointing you by loving the other parent. If you feel that you and your ex could use a little help when it comes to putting on a united front, there is a divorce lawyer in Massapequa that can help mediate your situation prior to talking to the kids.
It is crucial to remain a united front – at least when it comes to parenting. Set the narrative of the divorce as an agreement, rather than a disagreement, it’s a decision you’ve come to together. Get on the same page and try to communicate similar messages regarding the situation. It is difficult enough for children to navigate through a divorce, conflicting messages from the adults they trust most will only add to the confusion.
How to structure the discussion:
Tailor the discussion to be appropriate for the child’s age and maturity. This is not the time for anger and accusations. Focus your message on instilling confidence in your children that their parents will continue to work together to support and guide them. Try to keep the focus off of the adult details of the divorce and more about what this change will look like for the kids. A divorce lawyer in Massapequa can prepare you to answer questions like:
- Who will I live with?
- Where will each parent live?
- Will I still see my friends?
- Can I still do my favorite activities
- How will I spend the holidays?
The more honest you can be with your child, the easier this transition will be for them. It is equally important for you to encourage them to be honest with you. Help them verbalize how they are feeling, and create an environment where they feel comfortable speaking candidly. Affirming statements like “I know this is very upsetting for you” or “I know it feels lonely without dad here” lets them know their feelings are legitimate. Be a good listener, even if it is hard to hear what they have to say.
How can a divorce lawyer in Massapequa help?
Divorce can be complicated, but at Simonetti & Associates, there is a divorce lawyer in Massapequa that will guide you through the process. With over 30 years of family law experience, our team can handle any problem thrown your way. We pride ourselves on the fact that we are a firm that offers top-quality support for a lower cost. Contact us today to set up your FREE consultation!